TwoBirdsSoToSpeak
by Judge-Douglas-Mason
Summary: Two CSIs are critically wounded. Will they make it? Whose will is stronger?
1. Chapter 1

Nope, not mine. Wish they were, but they're not. Que Sera Sera.  
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The streets were slick from the brief torrential downpour that had just happened. It was a rain that came down in thick sheets so thick you could barely see your hand in front of your face, if one were so inclined. Sara was on her way to a scene near Meade and was currently fiddling with the radio knobs, trying to find something that didn't twang.

On the same stretch of road as Sara, Greg was enjoying the beginnings of a night off, also fiddling with the radio and oblivious to the vehicle in front of him that had come to a screeching halt. He looked up from the console too late and as he slammed on the breaks he began to fishtail, slamming into the back of a Chevy Tahoe, totaling his little Jetta and pushing the bumper of the SUV into the back seat of the truck. The contact was brief and harsh as Greg was slammed forward and Sara, her face full of air-bag had come to rest in the middle of the intersection. The damage to both vehicles was complete and total and though neither had any visible injuries, the damage to the vehicles told the tale. Luckily, both of them were wearing their seatbelts which minimized the bodily damage somewhat, but by no stretch of the imagination would either of them walk away unscathed.

Within moments they both began to feel the full extent of their injuries. In Greg's car his left leg was killing him and his chest felt tight, making it difficult for him to breathe. His right arm, which he had used to brace himself against the steering wheel had snapped like a twig at the forearm and he had a nice open laceration on his head that ran from his right eyebrow at an upward and right angle to his hairline. He was bleeding from the wound that had split open like an egg that had been dropped on a linoleum tile floor.

In Sara's truck, which was considerably more sturdy, she sustained injuries as well. From the air-bag she had a broken nose and burst blood vessel in her left eye as well as a laceration to the left side of her head that ran from just above her left ear to the middle of her forehead. Her truck had been slammed with such force that her seat had moved forward, forcing her chest into the steering column. Her left leg, which she usually kept fairly relaxed while driving had been broken in multiple places from her foot all the way to her upper thigh, her femur, tibia and fibula. Her right arm, which had impacted with the radio console had been bent nearly backward as if she were double-jointed, being broken, her humerus and ulna. Her stomach was tight and she was having trouble breathing from broken ribs as well as moving herself so that she could retrieve her cell from her jeans pocket. She could really feel nothing below her waist and it was this that was bothering her the most. When she tried, she could move her good arm, but it was pointless, as her cell was in the opposite pocket and therefore unreachable.

Witnesses to the accident called for rescue but due to the rain, the roads and other accidents in the greater Las Vegas area, it would be a few minutes before they were saved. Good Samaritans ran from their parked cars in an attempt to render assistance to both accident victims, but as none of them were medical professionals all they could do was put pressure on the visible open wounds. Some people even removed their shirts to press on the gushing wounds.

By the time rescue arrived and saw the state of things it became evident that more than a simple ambulance transport was in order. The firefighters worked on Greg's car first, as his was the most damaged of the two. In order to extricate him from his car they needed the jaws of life to pry the driver's door open and get him out. No sooner had the door been opened then Greg was placed on a backboard. In the back of the bus his leg was placed in a traction splint and an IV immediately started.

Sara's situation, though worse than Greg's, was easier to deal with. Her door opened right up and she was given very nearly the same treatments as Greg once she had been placed on a backboard and into the back of the bus. She lay still as a catheter needle was inserted into her Median cubital vein. Once the blood began to flow she was immediately given fluids in an attempt to replace the blood that she had lost from her many wounds, especially her extensive head wound that was presently leaking like a sieve. Several 4x4's had been placed on top of the wound and secured in place by wrapping her head in gauze and taping her head down to the stabilizer blocks.

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Sitting in his office, Grissom poured over reports and employee evaluations that needed doing. As his desk phone rang he set his pen down and picked up the receiver. If one were looking through the glass walls of his office they would see him scribbling on a sheet of paper and when he was done he jumped up, grabbed his jacket and rushed out to the parking lot. Sliding behind the wheel of one of the crime scene SUVs, he hit the lights and floored it to the hospital. Jumping out of the truck, he ran inside and immediately went to see the charge nurse who was of little help. He asserted the fact that he was their boss and demanded to know the state of things. Still, the nurse was either unwilling or unable to assist him. After making a minor scene, he went to sit in the family waiting area where he made a series of calls to those on his team that weren't otherwise occupied.

An hour later and Nick and Warrick were the first to arrive. They asked after Sara and Greg but Grissom was unable to give details. Since it was a slow night at the lab Catherine and Brass arrived about fifteen minutes later; both asking questions.

Finally, after about another hour and a half Grissom could see a doctor approach the nurse's desk and being directed to the family waiting area where what was left of the night shift waited anxiously to hear news of their colleagues


	2. Chapter 2

"Mr. Grissom?" 

Gil's head snapped up at the sound of the doctor's voice. He virtually jumped from his seat to greet the good doctor. However,  
the news he was hoping to hear didn't come, instead the news was bad in the worst way possible. Drawing Grissom out into the hall, the doctor explained the situation. As Grissom leaned against the wall he listened intently.

"Its not looking too promising. They both sustained extensive internal injuries." he said, pulling two charts from under his arm. "The young woman has a cracked breastplate as well as several broken ribs, a broken arm and leg. We had to remove her spleen and her liver was beaten to a pulp and she had massive internal bleeding. Her left lung had collapsed and her head trauma has caused her to slip into a coma."

Hearing this, Grissom's knees began to buckle and his back slid down the wall until he was in a squatting position. Helping him up, the doctor continued to explain the situation. This time it was Greg.

"The young man sustained similar injuries, though somewhat more severe in certain cases. We had to remove a kidney that was badly damaged. He too had massive internal bleeding and his head wound was a bit worse than we initially thought. His right eye orbit was shattered and placed considerable pressure on his eye and optic nerve. He may go blind in that eye. He's slipped into a coma as well from the head trauma he sustained. The only thing we can do is to wait and see. Hope for the best, but prepare yourself for the worst. The next 24 hours are the most important. They're both on life support and it'll be a minor miracle if either one makes it through the night."

Finding it hard to stand, Grissom slowly slid his back up the wall and placed his head in his hands. He tried to wrap his mind around the situation, but as hard as he tried he couldn't.

"Can I see them?" he asked softly

"Well, they're being closed up right now, but when we get them to the ICU I'll have someone come and get you."

The doctor turned and left Grissom to inform the others as to the extent of Greg and Sara's injuries. He tried to think of how to put things so the others wouldn't freak out. When he was sufficiently composed he walked back into the waiting room and just sort of stood in the doorway, leaning on the jamb. Everyone looked up at him but said nothing. Finally, after a few moments, he spoke up.

"No good news. Things look really bad. They've both slipped into comas due to massive head trauma. The doctor says they might not make it and that we should prepare for the worst. When they're out of surgery someone will come and get us. Until then all we can do is wait and see."

While the others just sort of stared into oblivion, Grissom turned and left them to themselves.

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An hour later a nurse came to the waiting room and advised everyone that Greg and Sara were out of surgery. While everyone went to see Greg and Sara, Brass went in search only to find him in the most unexpected place you'd go if you were looking for Grissom; the chapel. Kneeling in the front pew, Gil's head was bowed and his hands clasped in front of him. As Jim approached from behind, he could see Grissom's shoulders jerking and staggered breathing almost as though he were crying. Sliding into the pew behind Gil, Brass placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Gil, they're out. Everyone's gone to see them."

No response.

"Gil?"

Slowly Grissom stood up and wiped his eyes for all the tears he'd cried. He and Jim exited the chapel and made their way to the ICU. Greg and Sara were in adjoining cubicles separated by a sliding curtain that had been pulled back so that everyone could visit with Greg and Sara at the same time. While some sat in chairs others stood. Seated beside Sara, Nick held her hand and lightly stroked the back of it with his thumb. Over by Greg, Catherine was seated beside him mimicking Nick's actions. The sight of the two CSIs was disheartening to say the least. Both Greg and Sara were hooked up to artificial respiration machines and their heads wrapped in gauze. Greg's leg was elevated and held together by a cast and several pins to keep it straight as was Sara's along with her arm being in a cast. Greg's arm was in a cast as well but supported by a rod that was keeping it outstretched and at a right angle.

As Jim and Gil approached the ICU they could both see the state of things. Grissom took one look at Sara and couldn't bear to look any longer. He turned and briskly walked away as the others watched him go. Looking at each other everyone just shrugged and returned their attention to the two invalids. Brass, however, stayed to spend time with the others sitting vigil.

A couple of hours later everyone's beepers went off. Not wanting to leave, but having a job to do, they reluctantly left Greg and Sara to recover in peace. On his way out Brass stopped at the nurse's station and showed his badge as he told the head nurse to call him if there were any changes in either Greg or Sara's condition. Being assured that he would be notified, Brass left to join the others.

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As the rest of the team worked a crime scene they all tried to keep their minds on the job and off of the fact that two of their colleagues were in critical condition. Several hours later Brass's cell went off and as he looked at the caller ID no name was displayed, but figuring it might be the hospital he picked up. The scene being too noisy, Brass had to find a quiet corner to converse with his caller. It was the hospital calling to say that Sara had gone into cardiac arrest and that he should get down there post haste. Warrick and Nick's attention was drawn to Brass on the cell and his subsequent search for Catherine. They watched as he and Catherine spoke briefly and then Jim quickly turned and made a bee-line for his car.

Arriving at the hospital in record time, Jim ran down the corridor and came to a skidding stop at the nurse's station. He was attended to immediately by the doctor in charge of Sara. He explained that the arrest had been abated and that her vitals had returned to normal. Jim was glad to hear this and after Greg. The doctor said that he was as well as could be expected, but that he was not his doctor anymore. The man picked up the phone and dialed a number. Moments later a woman doctor appeared and filled Jim in as to Greg's condition.

"He's strong, I'll give him that. He flatlined about an hour ago but came back to us at first charge. In the event he goes again, It'd be helpful if we knew if he has a living will or something to that effect. You might want to find about the woman as well. Their condition isn't improving much, save for their comebacks from their episodes. It would be in their best interest if we knew their wishes." she explained

Jim said nothing as he turned and walked away. He immediately went to the lab and pulled Greg and Sara's personnel files. As he read through he found out that Sara had a living will stating that if after a week on life support she doesn't come to on her own, then support should be terminated. Greg, on the other hand, did not have a living will. As Jim sat at Grissom's desk, he tried to think of what to do. He knew that Greg was an organ donor, but that was all there was in his file to the effect of a living will. But since he didn't have an out and out living will there was nothing to do but wait, hope and pray.

Jim returned to the hospital with a Xerox copy of Sara's living will and gave it to her doctor. Reading through, he made a mental note of the one week time frame.

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Returning to the scene, Brass found Grissom in an upstairs bathroom on his hands and knees with the ALS. Slowly, he opened the door and closed it behind him. Clearing his throat, Brass gained Grissom's attention. Turning the ALS, Grissom stood up and turned to Jim. The uneasy look on Jim's face spoke volumes.

"What's the problem, Jim?" he asked

"I just got back from the lab and hospital. Sara went into cardiac arrest and Greg coded."

Grissom had to brace himself, his hands on the sink. It looked like he was going to throw up, and low and behold, he did. When he had finished vomiting in the sink he nearly collapsed.

"They're fine. Their vitals are good and they're stable. There's something else, Gil. Sara has a living will. She's got one week to come out of her coma on her own. However, if she doesn't life support is to be terminated. Greg doesn't have one, but he is an organ donor." he explained

Turning to leave Grissom alone, Brass went back to the hospital to sit by Sara. Her hand in his, he rested his head beside her on the bed. Closing his eyes, he could feel the tightness in his chest and his face flush. He looked like he was about to cry as he spoke.

"For all the things I should have done but didn't do. For all the things I should have said but did not say………………….I love you,  
so you hang in there. You'll make it. You're strong, you're determined."

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At The end of shift no one bothered going home. They all went back to the hospital to see to their colleagues. When they arrived they saw Jim, head still at Sara's bedside and holding her hand. At the time no one thought anything of it. They all knew that Jim and Sara were close, so they just dismissed the physical contact. Catherine picked up Greg's chart and read through it, shock on her face when she came to the part that read about Greg's coding. Grissom was the only person that had been told about Greg and Sara's condition. When she picked up Sara's chart her reaction was similar to that of when she read through Greg's chart. Accidentally dropping her chart to the floor, Catherine slowly knelt down and picked it up, her hands shaking as she hung it back on the foot end of Sara's bed. Seeing this, Nick and Warrick enquired.

"Greg coded and Sara went into cardiac arrest. However, both are stable as of now." she explained

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Sitting in the parking lot at Sara's apartment, Grissom tried to summon up the courage to go up there. He knew nothing of Jim's feelings for Sara, but he knew how he, himself, felt for her. He loved her so much. He just couldn't bring himself to tell her and that had put a great deal of stress on their relationship; professionally. Personally, there was no relationship; nothing outside the walls of the lab. Finally, after about half an hour, he climbed from his car and climbed the stairs to her apartment where he reached above the door where she kept her spare key. Slowly, he unlocked and opened the door. Once inside, he closed and locked it behind him and set the spare key on the small table by the door. He didn't really know why he was there. He knew why he wasn't at the hospital, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out what drew him to her domicile. Maybe he wanted to be in a place where he could be alone, but at the same time be surrounded by all things Sara. He sat on the couch and held his head in his hands as he began to weep.

Looking around at the décor of her apartment it looked like she hadn't been there in weeks. Everything was spotless and nothing out of place, save for the small pile of mail on the floor by the front door. It looked like a cleaning crew had come in, cleaned up and left. He could even see the vacuum tracks on the carpet. His being there was a way to be with her without actually BEING with her. He didn't think he could handle it to see the whole team with Greg and Sara. He feared he might break down in one way or another. This way he could let it all out without fear of everyone seeing him in such a state.

After a while on the couch, he got up and moved to the bedroom where he sat on the bed and picked up a pillow and held it to his face, inhaling deeply. It smelled of her shampoo and her natural aroma. Before he knew it he had lay down and was fast asleep.

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Grissom woke hours later to find himself in Sara's bed, still clinging to the pillow. Though awake, he still stayed in her bed. After an hour or so, his beeper went off and when he checked the number to find that it was Catherine. He ignored the beeper until his cell went off. When it rang he quickly opened it up and flipped it closed, effectively hanging up on her, then turned it off, setting it on the bedside table.

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Hours later Brass went in search of Grissom, concerned that he was absent from the gathering at the hospital. He'd called but there was no answer. He'd beeped him as well, but again, no response. He'd gone by the lab and he'd even gone by Grissom's flat, but there was no sign of him anywhere. It wasn't until hours later, when Grissom had returned to the lab that Brass finally found him sitting at his desk, obviously trying not to show how distraught he was. Brass saw right through it.

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At the hospital, the only one left was Nick, as everyone else had gone home. He sat between Greg and Sara. He was just dozing off when Greg's monitor went off, quickly followed by an alarming, persistent beeping sound. Immediately a team of techs and nurses came rushing in to attend to him. Looking at the heart monitor, Nick could see the straight, horizontal lines running from the left side of the monitor to the right. In those few seconds, the persistent beeping was replaced by a monotone high pitched beep. The techs worked furiously to revive Greg and it wasn't until the Atropine entered his system that his vitals slowly returned to normal.


	3. Chapter 3

Nick stood back in the corner of the cubicle as the last of the techs made sure that Greg was ok and that he'd stay that way. When the last of the attendants had left, Nick pulled up a chair and sat beside Greg. He took his hand as though they were shaking hands and gave a slight squeeze as he spoke softly. 

"You hang in there, man. I know we give you a hard time sometimes, but its in an effort to make you a better CSI. Believe me,  
Greggo, when you wake up, when you come back to us you'll see things in a different light. Everything will be clearer and life will hold new meaning. It happened to me and it'll happen to you. When I was in that box I saw my whole life pass before me like some sort of movie. It wasn't until you guys found me and I saw your faces, it wasn't until then that I realized how important I was to you guys and how much I was loved. It'll be the same for you. You're a valued member of our team, but more than that, you're family and you're loved by all of us. I never told anyone, but in recent years I've come to think of you as a younger brother and brothers take care of each other. So you take your time, I'm not going anywhere and when you wake up, which you will, you'll see just how much you mean to all of us. I love you, man."

It was after those four words had escaped his lips that Nick began to tear up. He didn't realize until that very moment that he realized how much he'd miss Greg if he were to leave the team. His feelings for Greg were purely platonic, not a single unwholesome thought. He loved him like a brother, like a friend and confidant and his chest tightened every time he thought that Greg might not pull through. Reaching into his courier bag, Nick pulled out a copy of the book Greg had left in his personal locker at the lab. He figured that maybe hearing his voice might awaken something in Greg and he'd wake up. After all, doctors always encourage family members to talk to people in Greg's condition, to have them hear a soothing and familiar voice. Nick opened the copy of "Hannibal" and began to read.

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No one slept well that following morning. No matter how hard they tried no one could fall asleep without their thoughts wandering to Greg and Sara. So, one by one, the night shift returned to the hospital to find Nick sitting at Greg's bedside reading to him. Catherine was the first to ask how long he'd been there, to which he replied, "I never left."

"He coded again this morning. But he's been stable since then. I'm just reading to him, you know so he can hear my voice. Can someone take over while I go use the bathroom?"

Warrick took the book and assumed Nick's seat and continued where Nick had left off. They all took turns reading. Grissom still had yet to return to see Sara or Greg. He just went home, took a shower and crawled into bed, shutting the whole world out. He had turned his cell off as he did with his beeper. He took the house phone off the hook and triple locked the front door. Certain members of the night shift had keys to his flat, but no one had all three, well almost no one. Brass was the only one that had complete and total access to Grissom's flat. So as a precaution, Grissom engaged the door brace which was simply a metal rod that slides one end into a metal hole in the floor and the other end braced against the door and latched in place.

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Pulling into the lot for Grissom's flat, Brass tried all three keys that he had but the door still wouldn't open, so he circled round' back of the building and climbed the trellis of Grissom's downstairs neighbour and slid open a window that Grissom always kept unlocked. Sliding through the window and landing on his face on Grissom's hardwood floor, Jim quickly picked himself up and made his way through the apartment until he found Grissom asleep in bed. Not wanting to disturb him, Jim just made himself comfortable on the couch in front of the tellie. He kept the volume low and waited for Gil to discover him.

It was several hours before Jim heard stirring in the bedroom and a few moments later Grissom emerged from the bedroom still dressed in the same clothes from the previous shift. Seeing Jim on the couch, Gil looked to the front door to find that it hadn't been disturbed. He looked around and scratched his head as he tried to figure out how Brass got in. Hearing Gil, Jim turned round'.

"How the hell did you get in here?" he demanded

"I have my areas of expertise." Jim replied

Walking to the front door and removing the brace and unlocking the locks, Grissom motioned for Jim to leave. Jim stood up and walked toward him, stopping right in front of him.

"You really should go down to the hospital. People are asking questions and some of us are very worried. You're more withdrawn than usual and no one has seen you at the hospital since yesterday. You of all people should be there. You're team leader and they're your kids. Look, I know how hard it is to see Greg and Sara this way, but you've got to go down there, even if only for a few minutes. Just make an appearance for God's sake, or people might think you care. If you won't go willingly I can't make you. Just keep in mind that people are worried about you; almost as much as they are about Greg and Sara."

And with that Jim left Grissom to wallow in his own self crapulence. Grissom slammed the front door and made for the liquor cabinet, pulling out a bottle of Southern Comfort and a tumbler. Making himself comfortable in front of the tellie, he poured himself glass after glass until his eyelids became heavy and he closed his eyes not to wake until the following afternoon. When everyone else was at the hospital showing their support Grissom was in his own little world dreaming of a time when he and Sara actually got along and Greg was the slightly nuisance DNA tech.

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Over at the hospital Nick had drawn watch over Greg and Sara and would be relieved a few hours later by Warrick and he by Catherine and finally she by Brass. As Jim sat between Greg and Sara he read from a new book. He opened the Harry Potter and the Alchemist's Stone and began to read. It wasn't until around 04:00hrs when Grissom finally made his appearance. Glad to see that it was Brass that was there and not someone else, he sat at Sara's bedside and held her hand speaking softly. Speaking so softly in fact that Jim couldn't hear what he was saying.

"I know I've screwed things up between us. I know I should have let you in, but I just couldn't bear to shot down. If I knew that we were on the same page I could have let down my walls and share my life with you. I think it could have been a good life. I think we could have been happy together………but for my walls. In the past they've served me well, but when it comes to relationships, personal and otherwise, they just get in the way. But this, I swear to you, if you make it through this mess I'll not only tell you how I feel, but I'll show you. You deserve much better than me, but for reasons of your own you set your sights on this old man. I meant it when I said that even though I'd been offered paradise but couldn't do it. You offered me a new life, but I couldn't do it. You offered me a look into your life and a permanent position, but I couldn't do it. You offered me your love, but I couldn't do it. I hate that its come to this for me to realize how much I've lost out on in recent years. You were persistent with every offer you made, but I was just too blind to see what I was giving up on. I had to choose between my job and a mutually beneficial relationship; stupidly, I chose the former rather than the latter.  
But I swear to you, when you come out of this, and I know you will, things will be much different between us………..that is if you'll still have me."


	4. Chapter 4

That following evening, when shift began, Greg and Sara were on their own to recover in peace. Which is not to say that the presence of the team members was a nuisance, but they'd all been sitting vigil since the accident. Now there was no one was there to read to them, no one there to keep an eye on them; they were alone. There had been little action since the coding of the previous evening. It had been two days since the accident and Sara's clock was ticking. She had five days before her life support would be terminated, whereas Greg had all the time in the world to recover. 

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Nick and Warrick were processing a triple homicide involving a married couple and their teenage son. From all outward appearances it looked like a B&E but for the fact that there was nothing taken from the house. While Warrick processed the downstairs Nick was upstairs and currently in the teenager's room. As soon as he opened the door to the room he was reminded of Greg. In the closet there were shirts hanging that looked just like the shirts that Greg wore and the Cds were the type of music that he listened to. There were fractal posters on the walls and ceiling as well as other reminders of Greg. Needless to say it was a hard task, but Nick managed to do his job despite the fact that images of Greg kept popping into his head. He was remembering the good times that they all had.

The team trip was among the first memories to pop into his head. It was just Greg, Warrick, Archie and himself. They had gone into the Spring Mountains for a three day weekend. Granted it had rained the whole weekend, but they were at a lodge, so the rain wasn't such a big problem but for the fact that on a hiking trip they became misplaced and spent the night in the woods. When it became apparent that they'd be spending the night outdoors Warrick and Greg had gone in search of some sort of shelter. After finding nothing the two of them managed to make a lean-to out of two trees and several branches, topping it off with a thick layer of foliage. Sure it was cold, but they managed to keep a campfire going all night so they wouldn't freeze. In the morning, as soon as the sun came up, they made their way back to the lodge for showers and clean clothes. It was memories like this that kept Nick from losing it. In all honestly he didn't know what he'd do if Greg didn't pull through.

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Grissom and Catherine were processing a body dump near Lake Meade and having a hard time of it. They couldn't help but think of their colleagues that lay in the ICU at Desert Palms. While Grissom's thoughts kept wandering to Sara he found it increasingly difficult to focus on his job. He kept thinking about what he'd said at the hospital that morning. He meant every word of it, but kicked himself in the ass for the events that happened that made him realize just how much he was losing out on. For all the times he wanted to tell Sara, when she was around, that he loved her, he just couldn't do it. Call it weakness, call it stupidity, but he saw it as self protection. If he didn't let anyone in, he couldn't be hurt by anyone. His heart wouldn't be trampled on, which was of major concern to him. He'd been burned in the past and he promised himself he wouldn't let it happen again. As he processed the immediate area where the body had been found, he couldn't help but think of the time when he and Sara were at the body farm. You see, sometimes, when he couldn't sleep or was just bored or needed to reflect on the past shift he'd go there. He liked it there because it was quiet and he could examine the bodies,  
looking for bugs and such. On one particular morning, several hours after shift had ended and everyone had gone home he decided to pay a little visit to the farm. As he pulled up the pea gravel drive he could see a car parked just outside the gate. Parking and walking past it, he recognized it as belonging to Sara. He wondered why she would be there instead of at home listening to her police scanner. Sliding his flashlight under the gate and then climbing over said gate, he picked up his light and started to shine it around looking for Sara. He didn't expect to find her immediately because the Body Farm rested on four acres of land with everything from woodland to deserted hard packed dirt fully exposed to the elements. He didn't bother calling out to her. If she was there, she probably waned to be alone; the same reason he was there.

Peering into an abandoned truck and mentally noting the level of decomposition, he shone his light inside and looked all around the inside of the cab. On the other side of the farm, Sara was sitting in a tree while she watched opossums, raccoons and other carnivorous animals take their turn at devouring a fresh corpse. Looking around, she could see a light about five hundred feet out. With her binoculars, she looked toward the light more intently. Unable to ascertain who belonged to the light, she turned her gaze to the front gate and the vehicles parked just outside. She recognized Grissom's truck immediately but didn't come down from her tree. Instead, she trained her exceptionally bright flashlight on the truck, watching as Grissom jumped back and dropped his light. He immediately picked it up and began looking in all directions trying to find the source of the other light. He walked in the general direction that the light had come from but found no one. When he eventually made it to the tree that Sara was sitting in he stopped to inspect the animal activity on the carcass in front of him. Looking down at him, Sara just smiled as he shined his light around, still looking for the source of the other light. As he began walking away from the tree Sara couldn't stand it any longer. She pulled some acorns from a branch and began throwing them at him, hitting him on the back as well as on the back of his head. He whipped around and found himself staring up at a very bright and blinding light. After a few moments Sara turned off her light and began to climb down from the tree. When she landed on the ground, she and Grissom wandered the farm together talking back and forth. It was the first time away from work that they had to themselves. No one else around for miles; just the two of them.

It was this memory that kept Grissom doing his job. It was a happy memory for him and it kept him warm inside; remembering the one good memory that he had held onto.

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After shift, just as he was walking out to his car, Jim's cell went off. Flipping it open, he answered. It was the nurse from the hospital calling to tell him that Greg had regained consciousness. Jim hopped into his car and floored it to the hospital. When he made it to the nurse's call station he was informed that Greg had been moved to a room just down the hall, as was the case with Sara; they shared a room. This was convenient, as there was far more privacy to be had. Crossing the threshold of Greg's room, Jim could see that Nick was already there and talking to Greg who was doped up on morphine, but still slightly coherent. Sara, on the other hand, was still dead to the world. Given the size of the group that had been visiting the two invalids, the doctors and nurses thought it best if they shared a room; for privacy purposes. Jim walked over to Greg's bed which was over by the window. Shaking the young man's hand and pulling up a chair beside Greg's bed, Jim said nothing and let he and Nick carry on with their conversation, such as it was. It wasn't long before everyone had come from shift to see after Greg and Sara. They were all ecstatic to see that Greg was awake, but at the same time they were worried about Sara and her ticking clock. By all accounts she had just over four days before her life support would be turned off.

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It was a couple hours before shift and rather than go in early Grissom elected to visit Sara. He'd known that Greg was awake and glad for him to be asleep when he showed up. Grissom drew the partition curtain so that if Greg woke up he wouldn't see him with Sara telling her some of his deepest secrets and confessions. But rather than confess or utter a single word, Grissom just took her hand in his and lay his head on the bed beside their joined hands and fell asleep. It wasn't until early afternoon, when he woke up, that Grissom realized where he was and who was watching him. Lifting his head and rubbing his eyes, his eyes began to focus on Brass, Warrick, Nick and Catherine. They were all just sort of standing around staring at him; speechless. They were all aware of Grissom's feelings for Sara and her feelings for him so they erred on the side of discretion and left the two of them alone.

Greg had been awake for just over half a day and was growing increasingly tired of the multitude of tests that the doctors and nurses insisted on running; their explanation being that he coded twice. However, right now he was in a good state. His vitals were strong, he was more coherent and much more important, he seemed to be out of the woods, so to speak. Granted, his body was a mess, but his mind was strong and he was asking questions.

"How long was I out?" he asked

"The better part of three days." Nick replied

"What happened to the other driver?"

He hadn't been told that it was Sara and the nurses had kept the partition curtain drawn, so he had no idea who was in the bed beside him. Everyone was reluctant to tell him that it was Sara, but he kept insisting. Finally, in a low voice, Catherine spoke up.

"It was Sara"  
"Oh, my God. Is she ok? Where is she"  
"She's here, but not doing so well. She's comatose. She's been that way since they brought her here"  
"Can I see her? God, I feel so horrible. I want to see her"  
"Don't freak out, buddy. Ok?" said Nick as he pulled back the curtain

Seeing Sara laying in the bed next to him, Greg tried to crane his neck to see her and when he did, he was shocked. She looked to be in worse shape than he was.

"What the hell happened?" he asked insistently

No one really wanted to tell, but the look on Greg's face melted all their hearts to the point where events were explained.

"It was raining and you slammed into the back of Sara's truck. You both sustained serious injuries as proven by your morphine drip. You flat-lined twice; we almost lost you. She went into cardiac arrest shortly after she got out of surgery. She's in a coma right now, but we've been taking turns sitting vigil since the accident. Nick even read to you, as did Brass, Catherine and Warrick." Nick explained

"So, its my fault we're in this mess. I should have been paying more attention to the road. God, I feel awful." he confessed,  
nearly weeping

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Greg had been conscious for a full 24hrs, while in the bed next to him Sara was still in her coma. From what Nick and the others told him, she had just over three days to come out on her own or she'd be unhooked from life support. Since learning what happened Greg was beating himself up almost continuously and would not be swayed by anything that anyone said. No matter how they tried to reassure him that it was not his fault, In his heart Greg knew otherwise. If only he'd been more aware of his surroundings neither he nor Sara would be in this situation.

That afternoon when Brass came to visit the two he was surprised to find Greg out of bed. He immediately went to the nurse's station and enquired as to his whereabouts. Having been told that Greg was in the chapel, Brass went to see him.

Seated in a wheelchair next to the front pew, Greg sat and stared up at the large cross with a crucified Jesus. He was speaking softly to himself with his head bowed. Coming up behind him, Brass sat behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Its not your fault, man. If it didn't happen to you two it would have happened to someone else. As a matter of fact, it did. While you two were being extricated from your vehicles, a couple of lookie-loos had a fender bender of their own. So, you see, you're not to blame." he explained

"I appreciate you trying to reassure me, but I know the truth. I took my eyes off the road and look what happened; I look I was hit by a Mack truck and Sara's in a coma. So don't tell me its not my fault."

Seeing that his words were of no consolation to the young man, Brass just sat back and left Greg to continue with his prayer.  
After about ten minutes, he spoke up.

"Can you wheel me to that altar over there?" he asked

Jim stood up, took hold of the handles of the wheelchair and steered Greg to the candle stand where Greg took a candle, lit it off another and placed it in an empty holder. Bowing his head again and said a silent prayer. His prayer was in Latin, which Jim wasn't fluent in, but he recognized certain words and phrases. When Greg was done, he crossed himself and asked to be taken back to his room. He was tired beyond all belief and he had ignored his physical pain for far too long.

Wheeling him back to his room, Jim could think of nothing more to say that might console his friend. He helped Greg back into bed and covered him up, leaving him to sleep and to have his pain sated. As Greg drifted back to sleep, all Jim could do was to sit and watch him drift slowly to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

The following evening when everyone was on shift Greg was awake and looking over at Sara who was still in her coma. No matter what anyone told him, Greg still felt responsible for the accident and in his eyes, anyone who told him otherwise was completely wrong. He knew better and quite frankly was beginning to resent when someone tried to tell him that it wasn't his fault. His mind was made up and no one could tell him different. He could be stubborn that way; not very often, mind you, but when his mind was made up, you'd have to be hard pressed to try and change it. When he saw her, every time, his chest tightened and he began to tear up. He was glad that no one was there to see him in this state. He was alone, save for Sara, laying unconscious in the bed beside him. 

He tried to go over the events in his mind to the best of his ability, but in all honesty everything happened so fast what he could remember came only as flashes. He remembered the rain. He remembered the slick roads and the last thing he could remember was reaching forward to tune the radio and then the sudden stop, followed by a crashing sound and that in turn followed by the feeling of impact. The next thing he remembered was waking up in hospital and seeing Nick sitting beside him. Bleary eyed, he looked over and gave his best effort at a smile.

Now, however, he felt nothing to smile about. His memory still intact, he tried to remember his back-up credit card number and picked up his bedside phone, dialing the downstairs gift shoppe. He ordered a dozen red roses and had them delivered to Sara along with a card that read "Sara, I'm so sorry. Its all my fault. Lovingly, Greg". When the roses arrived he asked the delivery person to set them by the window, as he knew she was allergic to roses, but figured they'd be a safe distance over on the window sill which was about ten feet from her in the farthest corner of the room. Every time he looked at her he felt like crying. Through his own negligence he'd caused one of his best friends to be hospitalized in a state that she might not wake up from.

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It was morning and the first visitor was Grissom. This surprised Greg, as Grissom had spent little time visiting, but nevertheless he was glad to see a familiar face. Seeing the roses by the window, Grissom picked up the card and read it to himself, then turned to Greg. He pulled up a chair and sat beside the young man. Taking a deep breath, Grissom spoke his mind.

"I know you've heard this before from many different people, but its not your fault. It was an accident and accidents happen.  
If not to you, then to someone else. You've got to believe me. I never told anyone this before, and you are the only one that shall hear these words escape my lips. Over the years I've come to think of you as more than a valued team member, more than a friend." he said, scooting closer to Greg's bed. "I've come to look on you as a sort of son. The kind of son a father could be very proud of. You've always made me proud. You've never disappointed me and you give your all in all situations. When you made CSI-1 that was one of the happiest moments of my life. I always knew you could do it and never doubted you for an instant. You're a very bright and talented young man, a young man that I would be proud to call my son. However, since we're not of blood relation, nor are we legally bound to each other, I'd still like to think on you as my kin. That is if its alright with you."

Floored by Grissom's confession, Greg was momentarily speechless. This was most uncharacteristic for Grissom to open up like this and Greg wasn't sure how he should respond. He respected Grissom's honesty and appreciated his attempt to make him feel better about the situation, though he still blamed himself for the accident, Grissom's other confessions did not fall on deaf ears. He knew that he had a knack for amusing the man, though he didn't always show it. Grissom had his own set of feelings for all of his team members, the strongest of which were for Sara and he knew that Grissom's primary reason for being there right then was so that he could see her. Her time was running out. She had just under three days to wake up or everyone would have to watch as the doctors pulled the plug, so to speak. They both dreaded the thought of losing Sara. What would they do if she weren't around anymore? How would they carry on?

Several hours later and Grissom had left, so it was back to just Greg and Sara again. He tried to take his mind off their current situation, so he turned on the tellie and tried to find some sort of program to sway his attention from Sara. He settled on Law & Order: SVU. It was a good episode; the one with Robert Patrick. Greg had the collection at home and was glad to see something familiar. After SVU there was The Bone Collector and following that there was a show about a group of forensic specialists that solve crimes through evidence recovery and analyzation. Greg had never seen this show before but found it quite interesting, as it mimicked his job almost exactly. He watched intently over the next hour and deciding it was a good show, he made a point to remember the name of it so he could get it online when he was mended.

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By this time it was nighttime and everyone was at work, Greg was going stir crazy. He'd been cooped up in his bed for just over four days which meant that Sara had just under three days. Unbeknownst to him, Grissom and the others were preparing themselves for the worst. They figured that if she hadn't woken by now that the chances of her waking were slim at best and they were fearful that the worst had yet to come, though no one would speak of it, leastways not in public or amongst themselves. They all just tried to remember the best in and of Sara; the way she was relentless in her job and unwilling to give up until she was satisfied that her job was done and complete. In private Grissom had even began writing a eulogy for Sara's funeral service; just in case. He hated doing it, but he figured someone should speak about her. However, unknown to him, everyone was preparing a little statement of their own in the event that they'd need to bury one of their own.

They all were quite fearful of the impending doom in their own special way wished to pay tribute to Sara, her life and the way she lived it and those who loved her and she them in return. Grissom had already began making funeral arrangements, picking out a casket, booking the hall and finding a plot at the local cemetery. He was fully prepared to foot the bill on his own. The way he saw it, if he couldn't show her how much he loved her in life, the least he could do was show her in death. He hated the thought of all of this, but it seemed that he couldn't escape it. Everywhere he looked he was hit in the face by memories and reminders of Sara. When he was at a scene he thought of her. When he was at home he thought of her. When he slept, which wasn't often, he dreamed of her. It was to the point where nearly every waking thought was of her. He had circles under his eyes and was really rather pale. He even went so far as to grant her final wish, which was actually more of a suggestion; he shaved his beard which he'd had for a few years. He remembered the conversation that lead to this action.

He and Sara were eating breakfast at a local diner and while discussing a case she threw it out there in the open.

"Griss, you've got something in your flavour saver." she said

He picked up his napkin and wiped his face.

"You know, you really should get rid of that thing. It makes you look old. You look much better without it. You have nice skin,  
why not share it with the world?"

It was this series of comments that prompted him to rid himself of his facial fur. If he were honest with himself he'd have to admit that he felt lighter without it and he didn't need to trim it every few days, which in and of itself was a bit of a hassle.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The following morning Grissom stopped by the hospital again. He'd been there more often as the deadline (no pun intended) drew closer. He'd sit at Sara's bedside holding her hand and very nearly pleading with her to wake up, but she just lay there silent as the night. She had just over one day to wake and things weren't looking promising. There had been no signs whatsoever of her waking. She just lay there, still. Thankful that Greg was in physical therapy, he had Sara all to himself. He looked up at the monitors and nothing had changed from the day before and the day before that. Even the electrodes glued to her head to measure brain activity were unchanged; no activity at all. Persistent vegetative state is what the doctors called it. It sounded a little heartless and cold, but it was the truth. There hadn't been any activity since her cardiac arrest.

About an hour later Greg returned from physical therapy to see Grissom with his head on the bed beside Sara, apparently asleep. Greg could hear a slight snore coming from him and tried to get back into bed as quietly as possible. Once he was situated, he looked over at Grissom and he was still asleep. Greg felt for Grissom. He knew how much Sara meant to him and now there was the real possibility that he'd lose her; they'd all lose her.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

As morning passed into afternoon and then nighttime there were several visits from various people and the air was very uneasy as they all knew that Sara's time was drawing close. The next twenty-four hours would tell the tale, as at this point she had just under that amount of time on the clock. In an unprecedented move, Ecklie had given the night shift the night off to be covered by day shift and swing shift. Now everyone from night shift was at the hospital waiting with baited breath as the hours ticked by on the clock on the wall.

In a last ditch effort, everyone went down to the chapel to say their silent prayers, even Grissom who wasn't a religious man. In those twenty-four hours there were several trips to the chapel, either en masse or people going alone. As the alarm on Nick's watch went off signaling that there was one hour left, they all got up, lit their candles and went back to the room and waited silently as the minutes ticked by. Again, the alarm on Nick's watch went off signaling the five minute mark. Sitting vigil around her bed, everyone held hands for a moment of silence. Suddenly they were all shocked from their silence by Sara's doctor and some techs coming in and taking one last look at her vitals. After a few minutes, her doctor looked to Grissom knowingly.

"It's time. Have you prepared yourselves?"

The doctor was about to terminate life support when Grissom stood up and stopped the hand where it was. Walking around her bed he wiped a lone tear from his cheek and took the cord in his hand.

"If anyone does this it should be me." he said

Shocked by his statement, everyone stood by in amazement as Grissom stood by as Gil closed his eyes, said a silent prayer and tightened his grip on the cord.


	6. Chapter 6

At the last second, Greg spoke up and reached over, snatching the cord from Grissom's hand and holding it in his. Tears in his eyes, he managed to speak. 

"No! If anyone should do this it will be me. Its all my fault. If I'd been more aware of my surroundings this never would have happened." he said

He took several deep breaths as everyone watched him. Grissom, shocked, said nothing, but just nodded his head in Greg's direction. After a few seconds Greg gave his hardest yank and the plug came loose from the wall socket and dangled from his hand. They all stood by as the monitors went from steady beeps to that monotone beep and the life lines went horizontal, then shut off. Still shocked, everyone looked to Greg in silence. No one said a word as Greg wept his last words.

"Sorry, Sara. I had to do it. I love you."

Almost all at once everyone broke out in tears, save for Grissom who had left the room to grieve in private. He hated the thoughts running through his head, but could not stop the onslaught of emotions that he felt. After his time alone Grissom went in search of Sara's doctor to make arrangements to have her body released into the care of Palm Mortuary for preparation of her memorial service and funeral. Grissom had found a plot at Woodlawn Cemetery that was near a nice tree and now only awaited delivery of her headstone that would read "Sara Sidle, beloved friend and colleague. You will be dearly missed by all."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Two days had passed and as friends, colleagues and police officers alike gathered at Saint Joan of Arc Catholic Church ( which Grissom thought appropriate as, in a way, she was his saviour) in packed pews. The service began with a poetic benediction in Latin and was followed by Grissom, who was seated near the altar, stood up and spoke.

"We gather here today to remember and celebrate the life of an amazingly brilliant young woman. Sara Sidle wasn't just a CSI,  
she was a dear friend, a confidant and she dedicated her life to bringing people to justice. She will be sorely missed by all who knew her and had the unique pleasure of working with her. She shared her life with all of us and she will never be forgotten by anyone of us. She touched our lives with her enthusiasm, dedication and love. We all loved her and that will never change."

Wiping tears from his eyes, he returned to his seat as Nick, Catherine, Warrick and finally Greg said their bit. All in all it was a beautiful ceremony. As the service ended, everyone got into their cars, civilian and police alike, the procession made it's way to Woodlawn Cemetery where they all gathered, multitudes of people, and listened to the priest as he recited Thanksgiving for the Departed.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,  
who has blessed us all with the gift of this earthly life and has given to our sister, Sara her span of years and gifts of character.  
God our Father, we thank you now for all her life,  
for every memory of love and joy,  
for every good deed done by her and every sorrow shared with us.  
We thank you for her life and for her death,  
we thank you for the rest in Christ she now enjoys,  
we thank you for giving her to us,  
we thank you for the glory we shall share together.  
Hear our prayers through Jesus Christ our Lord."

"Amen"

"Merciful Father and Lord of all life,  
we praise you that we are made in your image and reflect your truth and light.  
We thank you for the life of your child Sara ,  
for the love she received from you and showed among us.  
Above all, we rejoice at your gracious promise to all your servants, living and departed,  
that we shall rise again at the coming of Christ.  
And we ask that in due time we may share with our sister that clearer vision,  
when we shall see your face in the same Christ our Lord."

"Amen"

"Lord of all, we praise you for all who have entered into their rest and reached the promised land where you are seen face to face.  
Give us grace to follow in their footsteps as they followed in the way of your Son.  
Thank you for the memory of those you have called to yourself:  
by each memory, turn our hearts from things seen to things unseen,  
and lead us till we come to the eternal rest you have prepared for your people,  
through Jesus Christ our Lord."

"Amen"

"Father in heaven, we praise your name for all who have finished this life loving and trusting you,  
for the example of their lives,  
the life and grace you gave them,  
and the peace in which they rest.  
We praise you today for your servant Sara and for al l that you did through her.  
Meet us in our sadness and fill our hearts with praise and thanksgiving,  
for the sake of our risen Lord, Jesus Christ."

"Amen"

"Father in heaven,  
we thank you because you made us in your own image and gave us gifts in mind, body and spirit.  
We thank you now for Sara and what she meant to each of us.  
As we honour her memory,  
make us more aware that you are the one from whom comes every perfect gift,  
including the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ."

"Amen"

"God our Father,  
we thank you that you have made each of us in your own image,  
and given us gifts and talents with which to serve you.  
We thank you for Sara ,  
the years we shared with her,  
the good we saw in her,  
the love we received from her.  
Now give us strength and courage to leave her in your care,  
confident in your promise of eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

"Amen"

"Eternal God and Father, we praise you that you have made people to share life together and to reflect your glory in the world.

We thank you now for Sara ,  
for all that we saw of your goodness and love in her life and for all that she means to each one of us.  
As we too journey towards death may we do so in the company of Jesus,  
who came to share our life that we might share the life of eternity.  
To him be glory with you and the Holy Spirit for ever and ever."

"Amen"

"Lord God, creator of all,  
you have made us creatures of this earth but have also promised us a share in life eternal: receive our thanks and praise that, through the passion and death of Christ,  
your child Sara, our sister,  
whom we commend into your hands today,  
shares with your saints in the joy of heaven,  
where there is neither sorrow nor pain but life everlasting.  
Alleluia."

"Amen"

"Almighty God,  
you love everything you have made and judge us with infinite mercy and justice.  
We rejoice in your promises of pardon, joy and peace to all those who love you.  
In your mercy turn the darkness of death into the dawn of new life,  
and the sorrow of parting into the joy of heaven;  
through our Saviour Jesus Christ,  
who died, rose again, and lives for evermore."

"Amen"

"Almighty God,  
we come before you, the supreme judge,  
and to Jesus, the mediator of the new covenant,  
and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect;  
we give you thanks for giving us an unshakeable kingdom and we worship you in reverence and awe,  
through Jesus Christ our Lord."

Though this was by no means a military burial, Nick made his contribution as he removed a bugle from a backpack he'd brought and as Sara's casket was lowered into the ground he played Taps as police officers saluted through the duration of the tear jerking performance. When the casket had settled in the ground, people lined up and as they passed the open grave and dropped roses onto the casket. When the ceremony had ended everyone gathered at Grissom's flat which he opened up to everyone for the wake.

In the far corner of his flat there stood, on an easel, a blown up photo of Sara and her two thousand watt smile. All throughout the large flat people were consoling each other and remembering the good times as Grissom loaded a dvd into the player and directed everyone's attention to it. The dvd played a montage of photos of Sara set to "My Immortal" by Evanescence and "Ave Maria". When the show was over there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

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It had been a week since Sara's passing and the team was planning a trip to Sara's apartment to fulfill her last wishes; that everything she owned be given to charity, save for her police scanner which was left to Grissom as a reminder of sorts of her dedication to her job. Everything being packed up and loaded into a rental moving truck, Nick and Warrick drove it to the same church that her service had been held at.

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R.I.P. Sara Sidle. She will be missed and mourned by all those that loved her.

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Completa!!


End file.
